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Sunday, July 31, 2005

Lazy Thoughts

Things are quite calm and pleasant now, both inside and outside me. My mind is getting too lazy to think of any thing, right now. It wants to get in unison with the surroundings. Its so quiet here that I'm able to hear the hustling, of leaves, from a distant tree. Rarely do we get such an opportunity to embrace with. Its all like a lullaby. You might wonder from where I'm able to hear that if surroundings were all so quiet. I guess, its this quietness itself that's singing for me. The more quiet things are, the more is my mind searching for sound. And, the more its searching for sounds, the more is it finding quietness. In this challenge, finally, seems like the mind is giving up, paving way for the nature to lead it. Let nature's choice prevail. I sign off.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Lessons for life


Hi, had a very ugly day at work...feeling really bad about all this..only if I had a chance to correct the small mistake I made...hmm....it sounds silly, is'nt it? of course, everyone who does a mistake thinks so..but, the tough truth is you never get a chance again. of course, there are many reasons for it...one being our science is still too primitive to device methods for time travel..once again, divine proposition..I suppose. I know this has been an issue with me since ages but dont know why I have been neglecting it all the while...hasty always... I remember hundred different situations where I flunked because I was doing things in haste. but, seems like I have not really learned much from them...now, I have two options in from of me...the first and most easy one is to brood over this, try to find some one whom I can call and pour out my sadness and then, if possible, get some sympathy. Sounds good and familiar as well. Typically, you are trying to project your self as a martyr even though, in reality, all you did was to commit suicide. I'm just astonished how much you breed on sympathy. Shouldn't you feel ashamed of that? aren't you a grown up, one who can handle his issues by himself? Going to the second option. Analyse why things went wrong. Obviously, that should have been done by now. (yeah..its done..confirmed). next thing is to find out what is the base cause of such an error? i.e. to identify the mistake..even this, should have been done by now (yeah...this is also done. its because, I was in haste to complete things . ofcourse, this is not the sole reason. The second one is that I never do a thorough check of things..). Now, my question to you is are you really determined not to commit the same mistake again? yeah..not just because it would help me in my work at office but also because its very important for achieving all the goals and targets I had planned for my self. Listen. you can do that. All you need to do is to be e a bit more careful. That is all. As far as I can see. there are very few bothering issues with your self and this is one of them. All you need for getting over these issues to to have a strong will and a little bit of effort. Remember, nothing is really difficult and it all depends the way you take things.
ok..let me stop just telling abstract things and give you some pieces of advice that should be helpful to you.
At Work :
1. Never take up new work just before leaving. Say , you are planning to leave by 6:30 PM, stop taking further work by 6:00 . Rather, Sit back, got thru your to-do list for the day and prepare the to-do list for the next day.
2. Before closing an issue or before handing over the work to some one else , make sure you have crossed all the Ts and dotted all the 'i's. Make a double check.Its ok if you waste some time but make sure you dont need to re-do it over.Make atleast one full and a thorough check.
3. Ask for information. Never start on things that are either unclear or beyond your perception. Ask for information all such things. Its your right to get the required details and if denied or given improperly, make sure its properly conveyed.
4. Make sure things are all well communicated. If you think some thing is bothering you, communicate it to the appropriate person.
5. Never expect others to feel responsible for you. Everyone has got his/her own job and believe me, people are selfish. I dont want to comment whether its correct or not, but that's the general way things are. So, no point in cribbing about that.
6. Make sure you are not neglecting things of higher importance to you in solving those that are a priority of others and not you.
In personal Life:
1. Be bold and try to learn from your mistakes.
2. Never expect things from others. I have told this a hundred times and still, some how, it did not register well in your mind. Decide today whether you want to be a parasite of other's ability and views or you want to be by yourself.
3. Never crave of other's sympathy. You are a grown up now and so, you should be able to handle yourself.
4. Talk to your self. Start looking inwards for help rather than for help from external sources. You know yourself more than any one and you don't need external moral boosting
5. Be happy and smile ( I already see you smiling. Good, keep it up ....you are an angel... :))))))
Take care
Luv

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Identity Crisis

Thats indeed a very tough topic, not because there is nothing much to write but because there is too much to convey on that. The discussion might also bring out the things which we generally tend to hide behind our veil of gentleness and nonchalance.
To prove this instantly, one good example would be the act of blogging. How much ever a person might argue about the various advantages of blogging, one innate desire is the desire to be heard. And, this is not wrong. One point where most of us go wrong is to interpret this Identity Crisis( IC) as a negative trait. Everyone amongst us have the angst to be heard. We want our views to be considered and our opinions, thought up on. The real problem shows up only if one gets too aggressive in rubbing his identity on others.
Going back to the topic, lets start with a quick definition of identity Crisis. This is supposed to be a trait where in the person craves for an identity with in a group of people. Though this is more at a personal level, it can even vary from situation to situation, even if the variation is trifling.
Though IC and consciousness are more or less similar, the pursuit is different in each of the cases. While the first is more aggressive, the second is more sublime and mild. Also, the former is directed at others while the later is directed at one self. Its one's consciousness that reminds one to be clean. Even though it makes others feel comfortable, the drive is more because of one self and not them. However, flaunting one's biceps is more targeted at others than at one self. i.e. the whole purpose of such an act is defeated if others are not watching. One more difference between the two is while there is a lot of expectations in the first, it is not so much in the later. Ofcourse, you dont expect your colleagues to feel good about you being clean. That is supposed to be a social norm, which more or less, we have accepted in our life and hence, there is no identity as such, carved out of being conscious.
One biggest issue with this is that you tend to deviate from what you are. Ofcouse, its ok if you try to evolve in to what you what others to see you like but there are things which you really cannot change and in such situations, we tend to portray a totally different picture of ourselves to the world and this is where the real problem starts. Not only does such an act reduce your efficiency but also might develop some sort of frustration, which eventually might turn you stubborn and at times, insensitive.
To conclude, its not wrong to have an identity crisis but it should be more discerning and there should be parity as to which is doable and which is not.
I'm not sure as to how successful I was in conveying what I really wanted, but if this instigates some thoughts on this subject, the purpose of this mesg is served.
btw, today ,at gym I have phrased a new punch line for myself.

I'm bent not because of my modesty but because of my head-weight. :))))))
Luv

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Happy Birthday

Happy birthday to me... :))))
now, I turn 23 years young.....phew....so many years in this world...never realized this till now..
looking back at my jouney all these years, I should say it was a mix of all feelings....and situations, good, bad, hopeless, emotional, funny and what not... but, one thing that I feel for sure is that they are just memories.. they dont exist anywhere else other than in my mind. Though at times, I feel bad about some things that happened, I would soon realize that there is just no point in it..the golden rule is have memories, but only those that make you feel happy and blissful. Such memories really boost up your morale and make you feel alive. I have many such memories in my life and today, while I recollect them, I feel how blessed I'm to be born as what I'm. Ofcourse, very rarely do I like my self and this is one such situation.
Btw, I got lot many birthday presents today. A chain, a new TV and a new refrigerator to my flat. Ofcourse, dad bought them all for me. ok..got to get some sleep and wake up tommorrow early in the morning.. :(((
Bye then
Luv

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Time Management

'Life is time and time is precious' . These were the opening notes of the time management training that I attended today. Its one of the mandatory training that one needs to take up at Oracle. The training started at 9:30 AM and I was, as usually, late by 15 mins. Before even being asked, I gave some stupid reason for coming late, which the instructor did not even bother to listen. He immediately started off with the training. This was a full day training, which basically started with a pre-assessment test where in the participants are tested on some of the basic time management concepts and the the various tools used for doing so. This was done mainly for helping the instructor in deciding as to what needs to be taught.
After that, he introduced us to the concept of time management and dwelled up on the concept of life management and its relation to time briefly. He later explained us the eight different concepts in time management starting with attitude, goals, analysing, planning, prioritising, scheduling, procratination (the last one, I dont remember).
of all this, we had an excellent debate on the role of attitude on time management. One of the basic questions that was asked with regards to the attitude was 'Are you very much satisfied with your life?', for which, the instructor told us that the most desirable answer was 'Yes'. I could not really get that. I always felt that the moment one felt that one was very much satisfied with one's life, its more of less the end of growth in one's life. I'm not sure how much it makes sense to others, but, over satisfaction, according to me, reduces one's growth pace. The more you are unsatisfied with your life, the more you would try to be some thing more than what you are currently. This would force you to channelize your energies in expanding your mental horizon, there by making you some thing greater than you are already. Ofcourse, when I talk about dis-satisfaction, it should be a motivating one rather than a de-motivating one. There is a lot of difference between the both. But, one point I realized today in addition is that success also gives motivation. Though I have never experienced such a thing, I still feel that its possible. Probably, once you taste the success, you can never imagine being with out it, there by motivating yourself further to go for it. But the catch here is after tasting the initial success, if one just feels so contented with one's achievements that one simply fails to see the path to success anymore, then, its a down fall again.
After discussing a lot about these issues, we went on to discussing about the kinds of tools that we could probably use in order to manage our time and life properly.

Finally,wanted to share with you, one good quote I heard today:

Whether you think you can or whether you think you cannot, you are right
- Henry Ford

Thats all for now,
Luv

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Hyderabad, the garden city. Its boasts of having a perfect blend of both historic and modern cultures, providing the residents, an unique ambiance of pleasure and purpose. However, one thing that makes this experience a little unpleasant is the traffic. Though the city boasts of the best roads any metro has got, the traffic sense of the people is peanuts. For most of the outsiders who visit hydrabad, driving in the city is a night mare. what more, these days, it has become a topic of discussion even amongst the foreigners. There was one Mr X who flew down to Hyderabad from NY on a business visit. After reaching the office, the first remark he made was 'Gawd..you ppl owe a lot to him for being alive even after driving in this kinda traffik daily!!!!' and guess what, the other day, I found him telling that same to his wife on the phone. Assuming that atleast 80-90 % of the ppl experience such a situation, its enough to say that the issue is not just in the local news papers any more.
Nyways, coming to the reasons for having such a hopeless traffic, my first pick would be lack of stern implementation of traffic rules. You would be mistaken if you think hyderabad does not have an extensive traffic code. The only thing it lacks is the active participation of the traffic police. They are either too lethargic or too corrupt to actually enforce the rules. Pick up any guy who violates the rule and ask him why. He would smile and say 'Its ok yaar. I'm in an urgency. Nyways, even if I get caught, I have got a few notes in my pocket to rub that off'
I myself have seen many situations where in though there was a blatant break down of the traffic laws, the police were not much bothered about solving it (unless there is a wireless mesg from the ACP instructing/rather bawling out at him to clear that mess off).
I hear some ppl arguing that rather than a tough implementation of rules, the self realization of people is very much important. But, I feel that its too mild a medicine to cure this contagious problem. Most often, people only see the immediate advantage of braking the rule rather than the disadvantage of doing so. So, most of them tend to break the law. The other day, while I was talking to the driver of an auto rickshaw that I boarded, he tried breaking the signal near a traffic junction. Immediately, I blurted out at him for doing so and asked him to go back, which, he meekly acquiesced. Later, when I asked him as to what prompts him to such things, he grumbled ' See Sir, most of the people hear break the rule and in some sense, its become the law of the land. So, what is the point in me alone following the rule? '
True....there was nothing wrong in his explanation. You cannot ask him to become the role model and observe the rules when everyone else gives a damn to it. And its not very far away from the truth that almost 40-50 % of the vehicle goers do break the traffic rules frequently.
Well, the point that I want to drive home is the situation is very serious and complicated and so, we can't have the privilege of waiting for a kind of silent revolution to mend the people's minds. The problem requires an immediate feasible solution and that is an effective check on the commuters. Unless people are forced, things won't change.
also, many other measures for increasing the awareness amongst the people on the potential dangers of traffic rule violation , coupled with an efficient traffic network would ease the tensions and fears of the people.
Thats all from me for today
Luv

Monday, July 18, 2005

10 mins talk

Hi,
today, its going to be a quick talk as I have lots of other stuff to complete. ok.so here is the topic. Should there be a ban on the daily serials?
well, Iam sure most of the ppl would more than agree with the statement. Agreed there would thousands of those silent victims eagerly waiting for some miracle to happen that would wipe off the entire serial industry. Personally, even I am very much averse to these serials, particularly, the soaps that come on some of the regional as well as national channels. The prime reason is that most of the times, they make no sense or if at all they have any sense left it them, its washed away in the producer's desparateness to pull the serial over and over, eventually making the viewers more dumber than they actually are. One best example to prove the above point was that there was this one serial, the name I dont exactly remember, that started its saga when I was about 19 years old. The serial went fine for about an year with lot many dramatic twists and turns, eventually, enticing huge crowds, particulary the house wives who have nothing really use ful to do during those timings in the day anyhow. Even the title of the serial was very much in synch with the serial content. However, after that, banking on the rankings that the serial bagged on various award cerimonies, the producer decided to entertain his audience for a little more while and so, he sacrificed the story 'a little' in order to accomodate more number of episodes. Even then, people continued watching it as they have not felt really bad about the whole time stuff. All they were interested was the story and it was still more of less decent enough. Overwhelmed with the viewer ratings, the channel has decided to cut off more content, this time, to push a few more advertisements. They argued this was their bread and butter and so, there they had to do it. After all, who would watch commercials in the midst of a boring programme?
Now, the viewers were a little upset because the effective time in a show was less than 60% of the actual timings alloted.
Things went even bad for the viewers when they, came to know that, the serial they thought would end in another 2 weeks was given a small twist and pulled further, god knows in what way. There was lot of voice against this extra-innings of the serial. However, the irony was that they were still watching it. Reason, what better was there to do anyways.Also, an other supportive argument was who knows what would happen at the end. Lets wait and see.Probably, the heroine WOULD finally die in the climax.
Behind their frustration, was this innate desire to know if their predictions were correct (as this would give them a chance to flaunt their 'Intelligence' amongst their co-viewers) and also, the eagerness to know how the serial ended.
I remember my mother cursing the characters all the while watching the serial because she could not really stand the narration and picturization. However, even today,she produdly tells that she has never missed more than a couple of the episodes of the serial. If she missed one, she would make sure that she watched that on the other channel that was telecasting this same serial, but ofcourse, in a different language :))) She never minded that. All she wanted to watch was the characters and their actions. ( It was funny listening to her translations and interpretations of that episode. Btw, she is completely novoice at that language. Its totally greek for her.)
The above kind of pattern can be found in most the avid serial watchers who would give any thing to have a missed episode re-telecasted.
The serial was aired 'successfully' for 5 years (yes..its true) and the most funniest part was by the end, there was not a single actor from original cast. Not just the main characters, but the entire crew has changed over the years, , including the technicians and music director.
It all sounds silly but then, some where deep, it just does not sound right.
I certainly feel that the producer has no respect to the viewer's time and money and all he is interested in is to just fill his pockets as much as possible.
Most of the viewers don't feel it that way. On the contrary, they continue to annoy their mates and family members, who, might not at all, be interested in this stuff.
I guess, its up to the people to decide as to how they would be but beyond all this, the most important thing is to make sure that some one else is not irritated by this entire serial saga. For an hour or so is ok but four hours a day is a bit too much.
My sincere advice is to respect other's freedom for watching things of their choice :))) and make sure that at the end of the day, every one has been satisfied, in some way or the other.
Luv

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Its been really long since I got back to u....blame it all on my work...these days, its eating away even my free time :(
nyways, I have made a resolution that from now on, I'll blog for at least about 10 mins a day...
what else?
life is all about planning....this is what my manager told me during my recent appraisal session..he also went on explaining things about how planning helps us in being successful in both our personal and work life. To quote him..' You should not only plan for your immediate future but also for years rolling. i.e, if I ask you what would you be, five years down the lane, you should be able to tell me'.Though i nodded my head in affirmative in front of him, I'm really puzzled as to how people can really lead such a planned life.
I dont know why but planning has always failed in my life. I'm not sure what the reasons are but, I was never really able to reap the harvest of an effective, time-bound plan. I say this not because i want to flaunt about my dynamic lifestyle but because of the kind of experiences I had throught out. It all started when I was in my +1. I was really determined that I would study for IIT. I have even started preparing for that diligently. But, unfortunately, after my first year, I had to move to a different college because my parents were really scared about the teaching standards in my previous college. In the new college, there was no special IIT coaching and so, I had feel contented with the EAMCET coaching. Then, further, when I got admission in BITS, I truly felt delighted and thought I would really work hard and see to it that I would succeed there. However, after the first two to three months, I lost the interest and the zeal to achieve some thing. Also, the senior's comments, that most of us would however be going to join a software company, has totally put off the flickering enthusiasm to study the core subjects. For this, ofcourse, I agree that I was to be blamed. However, the real twist was that though I planned to come out of the college placed in some company, I was forced to leave the college as an early graduate because unknowingly I had completed all the credits required for becoming a graduate.. :( so ,here I was, out of college, completely ignorant of what and how to do with my life after the graduation. After getting a couple of rejects from software companies, I finally got an admit to pursue my MS in IIIT. This, I thought was a golden opportunity. I was once again on could no 9 as I thought I could not only gain some additional programming skills but also, could get chance to get in to some of the most reputed companies, that come for the campus placements in IIIT. The course was of two years and I was totally geared up for the course. However, exactly after an year, I found my self sitting in a software company as a associate consultant and why was that? I cannot tell you but some things happened in my life that have not only changed the entire course but also my way of thinking.They have taught me excellent lessons that I would cherish and nurture through out my life.
Being in Kanbay was a great experience, to start with. It was relatively a very young company with most of the employees aged between the 20s and mid-30s. I also had some really good friends out there and everything seemed fine. I have decided that I was going to be there for another 2 years (yeah...again, it was 2 years :)))..So, I went ahead and utilized the company's accommodation for the first week and also, availed a personal loan of 70,000 on company's surety( to be paid in 24 monthly installments)..However, things went contrary to my expectations. Once the training was over, I was put on bench and for almost 4 months, I remained on the bench. Not just me but all my batch mates were all in the same situation. then, I started hunting for jobs again. One day, one of my frnds came to my flat early in the morning and told me that Oracle was conducting a walk-in and so, he was going to attend that. He asked me if I was interested in participating that. I dont know from where I got the drive but I thought 'Why not??'. So, I went and attended the walk in. After 3 written tests and 8 rounds of interviews, Oracle finally thought I was eligible to join their company. So, I have shifted the company. But the sad part was I had to pay not just the hotel rent that the company sponsored me when I joined Kanbay, but also the entire personal amount tht I have availed on the company's surety.
well, now I'm with Oracle( with the same clause again attached..would work here atleast 2 years ;)))) lets see..
well, all I wanted to say is that though I have planned enough, I was never able to realize that completely. There was always this divine intervention that had an upper hand over my own plans and deliberations.
hammy..What should I say ... God is Great..But, there is one thing that I have learnt through all this experience...Believe in him and though you might now get the things you asked for, you would certainly not get things that you would repent( for having)..
that's all from me now,
Luv

Saturday, July 09, 2005

Hi again...
Saturdays are always lazy for me....not only that its the day of no work but also of no food ('coz i'm too lazy to go out to get food) and also no bath... :))) the last one is a must...other wise, it wont be a true saturday for me...
so, here i'm, in front of you typing some usual crap (and ofcourse, trying hard to put in some sense in what ever i type ;))
well,the reason i got down to writing now is that i wanted to share with you some of my wisdom about life...
off late, I have thinking so much about life and the various things around it that i have sort of developed a small theory :)))
And as you know, no theory will be complete without a punch line..so, here it is :

(For a bachelor) if you want to really live your life, then either have a Girl or a Goal !!!

Come on....don't laugh..I'm serious about that.. ok..let me explain..
you are said to be alive if you constantly grow and are conscious about your growth...this does not necessarily mean physical..it could be mental growth as well...and beyond all this, the most important thing is that you have to feel the liveliness in your life..this is most important..
what i seriously feel is that if you dont have any of the above two, then, your life becomes too insipid to have it any more..
while having goal is a constructive engagement, where in you try to live up to the goal and there by, bringing some sort of physical and mental maturity throught out the process, i would say having a girl is more of a non-constructive engagement...agreed it makes your life different each day you live, but apart form that, you dont really have much of a direct benefit from that..ofcouse, i'm not trying to tone down the importance of such an engagement..it's more of a companion for you through out your ups and downs and (for some) might be the sole reason for living...in whatever way you take it..the reason why i put it as a non-constructive is that it does not (at least, directly) bring some sort of mental maturity and increase your wisdom....hmm...is that true????
What i exactly mean is that a girl does not make you a rocket scientist or a management guru...ofcourse,there can be a lot of indirect influence and at times, much more stronger than the goal it self but the way i look at it is that no matter how much ever the influence might be, it can start only as a goal and not as an influence...and even if it appears to start from an inspiration, there should be a goal indeed..its simple..i wont try becoming a Nobel laureate just because my girl frnd wants me to be one...
more than all, its the drive thats with in me that might push me....
ofcourse, this is very much a personal opinion and this might vary from person to person..
well, need to do some cleaning stuff..
shall c u later..
luv
Did not go to bed yet...but, of course, thats nothing strange for me as friday nights are supposed to be reallllly long for me...
hmm...felt like thinkng a bit about my future aspirations and goals...aahh...that should sound really heavy but then, I guess, I need to do some real thinking about it..
My goals were always so much varied and at times, quite opposite to one another that it's been really hard for me to arrive at a proper career path that would cover all my goals en route...
again, just a thought...I'm sure that is not just possible...
Have been hearing a lot from frnds these days about the way the are dealing with their plans for future..seems like everyone else has a very good idea of what exactly to do when and how...
Even I tried this for some time...like monitoring my self, noting down things and similar stuff but really did not go well with me..
probably, thats not what I'm. but I always feel that is how i need to be if I have to be what I really want to be....seems like the difference is too large...
need to find out some way to reach the other side..
its time for me to catch up with some things....
bye
luv

Friday, July 08, 2005

Yet Another Blog ???

Hi,
This is my third blog...Not sure what happened to the previous ones...worst of all, I don't even remember the names :)
So, obviously, the next question would be ....Why so many?
I guess, by the name of the blog it self, you should have had a little understanding of me....
Usually, I'm too busy to take care of such things...(ahhh...I know..that sucks....to me even..) nyways, truly speaking, I'm too frivolous to actually take anything serious in my life....
again, the reasons for this are many.....which, I'll bore you some time later....and in case i forget (which, I'm sure, I would), do remind me..
Now, this, being my first message, let me quickly give you my introduction...
hmm...this puzzles me always......I have found a hundred different 'MEs' with in me that it's always been a big trouble for me in summarizing all of them together....but, yeah..let me try this ..
A kid who was very much curious about things happening around him and was much tormented thinking about things which were much beyond his understanding, a school going boy, who always thought he was much more smarter than his teacher, a young college lad who has changed three colleges in two years, only because things were all so monotonous for him, a civil engineering student who was never interested in taking up civil as his main stream career, a unemployed graduate who was out of his college six months before the schedule (just because he has accelerated the whole course duration...), a determined aspirant who went for an Masters at country's one of the premier institutes, to mark a niche for himself, a woeful man who dropped out of the college just because he could not take care of his relations, a desperate job-hunter trying to find some job to quit the univ, a somber gentleman who joined a services company because he did not have any other better reason for quitting the univ, a consultant, who fought hard to jump in to the world's second largest software company, after hearing a lot about the success his batch mates have made at the campus interviews back in the univ and( for now), finally, a lazy lad trying to juggle his time between job, gym and home.....
mix them all and voila, you got quite some information about me...
hmm...what else?
thought I would put in loads of info here... my mind is contemplating a hundred different topics now...but, yeah....guess its time that I give you guys a break.....'coz nothing is more pleasant than having a break after a torturous read...
Chalo then,
luv