As everything has a beginning, so do they have an ending. Though, most of the times, the beginning is lost amidst of all the exhilaration and excitation and the brouhaha that would follow, the ending, quite contrary, is marked significantly and evidently. Probably, that’s one of the reasons why most of us hate the endings (of course, only those that had a memorable, if not good 'history'). I still remember how much i hated to see the words 'The End' in a movie. Be it a tragic, heart-aching or a totally depressing movie (well, in those days, watching a movie was a privilege...it didn't matter what genre it belonged to, as long as it was a movie) , I always preferred watching it to time infinitude than moving out of the theatre.
But the hard fact, though, is that the movie would end sometime and I would start feeling bad about it. For once, I would feel that my life is being taken away from me and that I would have to forcibly concur with some supreme destiny than that of my own (in here, its the theatre owner's will :)). With a heavy heart, I would move out of the theatre, reminiscing on all the wonderful movements I had, the fancy food (by fancy, i mean the samosas and the cola drinks. Yeah, it was supposed to be a luxury back then...'come on, now...you need an occasion to munch up on such delicacies) I had, the cozy little seat I sat, the string of unconnected and at times, stupid, non-graphic ads that rolled on during the interval, the smoke rings that would some how sneak in to the theatre from the hall way, chocking the 'family crowd' sitting next to the exit doors, the countless number of people busy moving in and out, at times, seemingly aimless and at times, real busy, the dim lights filling the hall, making it both darker and brighter at the same time, the sound of glass cola drink bottles rolling everywhere on the floor, the pretty face of the heroine, her curvaceous body and her lovely looks, the comedians and many more.
The empty roads on my way back home would make no sense to me. They would only make me feel sad and lonely. They always seemed to jeer at me for loosing something that I (thought) had once. Something that I got so involved, only to realize that it meant nothing now, whatsoever. I always hated when things were not what I wanted them to be. But as I soon realized, it is how life treated me; giving things, that I never thought I would have and then take them away from me so hard and so sudden that before I realized, I would be back at the same place again, back on the same road again, wondering what the hell has happened and how the heck did i end here again. Nothing in between seems real. They are just memories. This is when I started feeling that there is nothing real in the life, but for the black, long, unwinding road. No matter how hard I tried avoiding this stretch, I would somehow end up there; From what I wanted to be to what 'he' wants me to be.
The show’s packing up, i sit and I watch
The carnival leaving town
There’s no pretending that I’m not a fool
For riding around and around
- Mark Knopfler
Luv
PS : Adapted from the original text drafted on 24 Feb, 2007
Sgd/-
KRishna :)
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